I Am A Sunflower

I have been doing water aerobics through the winter and walking in the gym.  Last week I walked at Rosecrest Park.  Walking in the gym does not compare to walking on a trail or a hike.  All of a sudden your legs spring to life and the dormant muscles start to scream especially when you wake up in the morning.  Today on Saturday, I went for a 40 minute walk up in Yellow Fork (one of my favorite places to walk).  It was too muddy and too snowy still to get very far, but it did my little sunflower heart good and it blossomed in the sun.  I love love love how it makes me feel when I am outside.  I am truly like a sunflower.  There were little green blades of grass pushing their way out of the mud and snow.  I saw several of those fast running black spiders.  Dogs came up and greeted me and sniffed my hand.  I saw several other people out enjoying the sun and the hike.  I saw 4 guys on horses.  One guy was not to be deterred and was riding his mountain bike in the snow on the trails.  I also saw a huge paw print of something that had pads on its foot and long claws in front.  I thought it might have been a mountain lion print.  All in all it just filled my wee heart with gratitude for being able to be out and enjoy the promise of spring.  I kept hearing a sound behind me and worried that someone was coming upon me.  I would stop and wait to hear what the noise was and realized that it was the contents of my camelback swishing  and knocking together.  I am so anxious to go to Zion's and do a hike or two there and then to Snow Canyon by St. George.  I love going without a coat or 14 layers in the office.  I love walking outside and feeling the sun on my face.  It is like I have come out of my den and hibernation for the winter.  Everything is alive!  Even me!

Amazing Grace

I bought some wind chimes and on the box it said they were tuned to the notes of Amazing Grace.  I hear those chimes now blowing in the breeze outside and am reminded of the song.  I love that song.  I have always loved that song and I think most people do.  I love when my piano students learn to play it, because it has triplets in it.  I hear it a lot.  I heard it sung at Harry Mosher's funeral on Monday.  Bagpipes also played it at the grave site.   The sweet, reassuring sound that is an ancestral memory of where we came from...Scotland.  We could hear the bagpipes in the distance and it lead us to the grave. When the service at the grave was over there was a 21 gun salute and it scared Tauna's baby and he cried. Then the bagpipes played Amazing Grace again, then the Caisson Song, then a traditional Scottish song.  As the piper played the last song, he walked slowly from the grave site, and we listened to him again as he faded into the distance.

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound, that sav’d a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found, t'was blind but now I see. 


The other verses:

T’was grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears reliev’d,

How precious did that grace appear, the moment I first believ’d.

Thro many dangers, toils, and snairs, I have already come

Tis grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me, His word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail, and mortal life shall cease;

I shall possess within the veil, a life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, the sun forbear to shine

But God who call’d me here below, will be forever mine.

I love the second verse about fear, because I have been so fearful of things in my life and fear has been my companion for a long time. You know what?  It just isn't worth the worry.  Either it will happen or it won't and it isn't worth the worry and the health problems that stem from worry and stress.  The statistic is that 85% of what we worry about never happens.  "Mark Twain said: My life has been filled with calamities, some of which actually happened. We laugh at this because we identify with it.  There seems to be nothing more fictitious than the worry that goes on in our heads"  (http://donjosephgoewey.com/worry-the-fiction-that-rarely-happens/).

So my thought of the day is...just let it go.  It doesn't matter.  Don't give your happy tickets for the day away to someone or something that doesn't deserve them.   Put on some uplifting music.  Shake that mood.  Find a place inside yourself that can get rid of the worry and stress that wants to overwhelm you and me.  Think of that place you love to go.  My place is the garden in Tabiona.  I can feel the stress and worry drain from me when I mentally open the garden gate and walk into the peace of the garden.  I am barefoot and dirt squishes between my toes.  I have a white eyelet sundress on and a big rimmed straw hat.  The breeze blows and rustles the plants and my dress swirls around my legs.  I can hear sheep and cows in the distance.  I have no need to worry.  I am blessed by His amazing grace.  I am home.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

The city arts council is showing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for the summer theater production.  I am involved with the arts council in a round-about way.  I do the office stuff.  I make copies, schedule the building, and make sure the reimbursements and bills are paid, and get the contract put together with the biggies in New York so that we have the copyrights to do the shows, and I recruit my kids to come and help at the ticket box office.


I saw Joseph the first time, at Tuacahn I think, and many times since.  Tazia was one of the brother's wives at her high school production.  But since the first time have seen it a myriad of times.  I love that show and actually it helps explain why the brothers turn on Joseph which I didn't understand from reading it in the bible.  Jacob obviously didn't see the danger in doting on Joseph and voicing that he was his favorite and then giving him a beautiful coat of many colors.  My mom and dad used to debate about how Joseph got into Egypt.  My mom said that the brothers sold him into Egypt, and my dad said that the brothers sold him to some Ishmaelites, who then sold him into Egypt. They called me in to solve the debate and I was not going to side with either of them.  I just read what it said....Joseph was sold to Ishmaelites....and according to the musical, my dad was right.


The costumes, sets, and the acting are surprisingly excellent.  You know when you see excellence because you tear up and it takes your breath away for a few seconds.  Each show that the arts council puts on hits the excellence mark and continues to move up the excellence yardstick.  


Joseph faced many disappointing times and was in jail a long time, and in service for an even longer time, but HF had a plan for him.  I believe that HF has a plan for all of us.  I don't believe that we have to bungle through this life alone.  


When you see the courage and strength of someone else it gives you courage.  Even this Broadway version of a bible story gives me courage and strength I need.  


One of my cousins posted this on FB yesterday:  "This is for someone out there - God asked me to post this for you!  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1."  I am sure she posted this for me. 


And so I take courage from people around me that I see have struggled and are still struggling with life.  Because I still struggle.  Joseph, you are my hero.

Beta I and Beta II

A few months ago a friend posted on Facebook that they were moving and would someone please adopt their beta fish.  Being the lonesome girl that I am, I sent a message and she delivered the fish to my office the next day.  The kids wanted to know if they could come and visit the beta anytime.  I said SURE!

I took the fish home and he wouldn't eat.  He lived for about a week without eating and then one morning he was racing around the jar he lived in like something was after him.  When I came home for lunch he was belly up and he found his resting place in the white throne.

I immediately went to Petco and bought another beta because I was so afraid that the previous owner kids would want to come and see the fish.  I bought another beta that was very similar, but not identical.  He is a very beautiful bluish turquoise color.  His name is Shark, which inspires him to be the best he can be.  He started eating the next day after he came home with me.  I like him a lot.  Except I think that he is trying to live up to his name and is trying to eat me.  Twice he has gnawed on my finger when I dipped it in the vase during a feeding frenzy.  Holy smoke Shark, down boy.  Then tonight when I was sprinkling his odd-shaped worms on the water for the feeding, he jumped at me again.  It isn't like he doesn't get fed.  He eats well and jumps at his food like he has to kill it.

A couple of weeks ago I bought another beta fish.  He is such a beautiful pink.  I remember when my kids used to have beta fish and we would put them side by side in their tank and watch them flare at each other.  It was the thrill of the day.  My two fish must be used to each other because they don't care and don't ever flare at each other.  But Shark does continue to try to eat me.  My new fish isn't this dark coral, he is lighter and pinker.  The new fish is named Fin.

I like these guys.  They know me....not like "Hi Cheeryl, how are you today?"  But as soon as I walk into the room they are flipping and flopping all over the place trying to get attention.  Perhaps it is because I am the bearer of food.  Even when I put them on the table when I am studying, they move to the side of their tank where I am.  I kinda think they like company too....well at least I know they like food.

Life Isn't Easy I

It breaks my heart to see so much strife in this life.  People driving into washed out roads and a teenager killed...an 8 year old boy, walking home from day camp, killed and dismembered...and health problems...and emotional upsets....and more marriage problems and divorces.  Why can't we all just be ok?  Why can't we all just get along?  Why are these bodies temporary and falling apart?

Some days the only things that pull me through the sadness and depression of life are the little happy things I find around me...my quilting class, block of the month; taking a grandson to a splash pad and watching him make new friends; the sun on my face; two roosters in the neighborhood that wake me up each morning at 4:00 am; the flowers on my porch; my grandbabies, O how I love them; my children, they inspire me; Luke Peterson's farm open for business; people that recognize me because of my kids; and music and stories and scenery that touches my heart and soul.

I organized all my paperwork.  It only took all day Saturday last week and part of this week, but it is done.  I loved the surprises I found as I went through it.  Dated memories.  Poems from my children and one in particular from Kateka.  Coupon book of service from Tazia.  Letters from my missionary boy Travis.  Pictures of Makayla and jj just after they were married at Christmastime, they just glowed.  I finally have all my paperwork in one filing cabinet in my closet.  Even just getting one part of my life organized makes me happy.

So I guess the message of this blog is that through all the trials, and misery that we face as mortals, there is still so much to enjoy and be happy about.  Generally it is the small things that make us feel ok again. I am back to  coming up with a happy thought each day.  This was an emotional survival technique that me and the kids came up with at a point in our lives when we were so sad after the emotional earthquake in our lives.  It was amazing to me how well it worked!  In fact, one of the papers that I found while going through paperwork was from Kateka, and it said, "Here is your happy thought for the day" and it was something about getting together after school, after work.  Just the smallest things can make such a difference.  Sometimes that small thing is something you do for someone else to lighten and brighten their day.  My dad always used to tell me that "Happiness is a by-product of things you do for others."  Thanks dad.

Sometimes happiness is a byproduct of taking the time to notice the little things that make a big difference.

Hexbug Nano

I bought two Hexbug Nano for the grandbabies to play with when they come over.  Gentry slept over last night so I got the Hexbugs out.  One is black and the other is green.  I think the green one is a little faster.  The Hexbugs are eerily realistic and remind me of crickets.  They were crawling all over the counter and then jumping, and crawling all over the floor and under the door into the pantry, and then getting lost under the goodie cabinet and were out of control.  You should see them crawl across the keyboard of the computer...I really had to resist the urge to get the fly swatter out and beat the L out of them.  I knew they needed to be contained.  I got out a cookie sheet and the Hexbugs were so happy to be running on it.  They run into the walls and immediately turn and head in another direction.  They bump into each other and it doesn't even phase them.  They flop over on their sides and immediately can right themselves.

These are pretty amazing little pieces of technology.  We took them with us outside to dig in the flower garden, and they came along when we had lunch, and Gentry just found a new habitat for them in the lid of the taffy jar.  We have had to try them out on every surface we could find.  Hey, how does it work on my arm?  How about in your hair?  How about on the driveway?  Can they move in carpet?  Now we want to get 20.
http://www.hexbug.com/nano
Gentry just asked me "What if they were called Creepytrons?" He will have to design those.

Dang that Toothpaste

Arrrrrrg!  I am so sick of waking up in the morning and finding that the inside of my mouth has peeled due to toothpaste!  I was using Colgate Total and loved it, but was a little annoyed because the bottom left side of my mouth would peel every morning after using it.

I talked to the dentist about it and he said I should buy a "sensitive" toothpaste.  I bought Colgate Sensitive and was so happy with the large sized tube.  I thought for sure that my peeling problems were over.  After using the sensitive toothpaste, I woke up and found that the WHOLE interior of my mouth had peeled, clear up to my lip line!  What the L???  I waited about two weeks and tried it again with the same results.  I want my money back!

I contacted Colgate and will see how this turns out.  I don't think I am defective, because my dentist said when he uses certain toothpastes that it makes his mouth peel also.  I love my dentist and believe every word that falls from his lips.  And the most important thing..he has cute hair :)